Entry-Level Failure

I started my job as a Staff 1 in September, and I don't understand anything. I interned in various different accounting functions and started in Deal Advisory full time last year.

However nothing is clicking. I do trainings, and the spreadsheets still don't make sense I never know what line items to move in, or out, the correct adjustments. I know nothing. I only do well at data management task honestly and have a horrible time building schedules or performing analysis.

My intake class is all male (-me) and they typically work together and are chatty about things like sports which sadly i have no interest in. The other woman on my team are a bit clique-ish the senior woman came in together and are very close. While they are all kind I feel very alone.

I don't know how to ask for help in our first case study when onboarding I just laid low, we just had another though this week and it went horribly I was quiet the entire time and everyone in my cohort understood the concepts and they moved along. I don't even know what I don't know so it becomes hard to ask questions.

The case culminated in us answering some scenarios one by one and when it came to me I was shaking and I just didn't have an answer so I was skipped. Which is embarrassing.

I cry often, and honestly feel like a failure, which is rough because I took pride in my ability to learn, and how I did in school. I don't know how to get the support I need and I'm honestly starting to feel like I don't want it I just want to find a new role, but I'm trapped because of my bonus.

Any insight or just a listening ear is appreciated I'm having a hard time.